This is Me!

This is Me! The good, the bad, and the bald. You get it all! But I have hair now. This spring I'll be rockin the pixie.

Thursday, September 5, 2013


These were the two words I was looking for last Monday, August 19th, when I completed the last of my 16 treatments.  It was a great day!  A good friend picked me up.  We stopped at Woods to grab a coffee and the girls recognized me and gave us our drinks and scone for free.  Then I had great visitors while we were there.  And to finish it off, my mom and the kids brought in cake and balloons.  It was really quite a day and an even better way to finish off chemo.  That evening, even though I had the worst chemo buzz ever, with my legs shaking and my mind humming, some amazing people came and helped me celebrate the finish line of this portion of the race.  Funny thing is... I never did see those two words.  Instead I got an "air in line" message.  We'll take it!

Being done with that part is so nice.   I opted to take the week off from writing.  I figured if I did, I might have some of my brain back.  The days following my last treatment were pretty exhausting.  Especially Tuesday.  Monday night was a great way to celebrate being done, but I only slept two hours.  Dang steroid buzz.  Tuesday was mostly a blurr.  By Thursday and Friday I was pickin up steam.  This week has been even better.  I am beginning to remember things more, not everything, so don't quiz me.  I have noticed there are some lingering side effects that I am hoping will slowly disappear, but nothing I can't live with if they don't.

One thing I have noticed is that I didn't realize how feminine eyelashes and eye brows make me feel.  While I was fortunate to keep some sparse eye lashes for the duration, my poor bottom eye lid has a scant 2-3 on each side.  Yes, I am able to girl em up to look feminine, (sparkling teenager eye shadow is an amazing tool), but it has felt very weird to not have these two eye accouterments.   I didn't realize how attached to them I was.  In some ways I almost feel like they truly make me feel and look like a woman cause you should see me in the morning with out them.  It's very odd.

So many have asked me how I am now that it is over or have asked other family members if I am glad to be done.  And while yes, the nastiness of chemo is over, I would covet your continued prayers.  I have til next May or June with infusions every 3 weeks and daily radiation coming up in a couple of weeks.   I realized that during this season, I have rarely prayed for healing.  I mostly have focused on asking God to use me where I am at and to give me peace, wisdom, and direction.  I am grateful for the things I have learned.  I would have never had the desire to help others with this nasty critter.  Nor would I have had the empathy for those who are there.  I may have felt badly for them, but now I realize, that for me at least, that was not the emotion I wanted for people to feel when they looked at me.  I wanted them to join the team fight with enthusiasm, not sadness and pity.  I look at these fighters differently now.  I never realized how strong this group of people have to be.  So now, when I see a fellow fighter, I set aside any thoughts of the pitiful "awwhhhhh" sigh, and dive in with compassion, interest, and a tad bit of sassiness, peppered with the occasional and appropriate CFP.

I have recently been asked by a few people for specific prayer and I wanted to share these requests with you. 

A friends grandma is experiencing a re-occurrence of ovarian cancer and it is "floating" around in her.  The prayer request is that she would stay solid and find strength in her faith.  I would add prayer that she experiences a tangible peace.

I ran into an old friend at the fair only to learn that he had a massive stroke last year.  I pray God would be ever present with him, bringing peace to his mind and that he would continue to get stronger and regain ground that was lost.

My grandpa is attempting to say some good byes as his time is coming to an end, and along the way, he experienced a medical emergency.  I pray he gets to see who he is supposed to see and say what ever he needs to say before he goes home.

1 comment:

  1. Yay Tami!!!! I'm so happy you are done with this part! Celebrating with you and feeling somewhat emotional about the whole thing. Pity is definitely not something we want. We want people to see strength and courage...and you radiate it. Keep fighting the good fight of faith! You are a champion!!