Good morning God,
So this is it. Today is the first day of treatment. When I went to bed last night, I wasn't sure if I would sleep well. I thought I might be anxious about today. I know I went to sleep last night chatting with you and I felt a tear drip down my face but that's all I remember. No anxiety or panic. Just peaceful sleep. I think I have a healthy amount of nervousness for something so unknown but I am trusting that you have this as you have for the last two plus months.
Everything that I can to do prepare I have done. I have my anti nausea drugs ready. The stool softeners and the anti diarrhea meds, are both at the ready. I have the tea tree oil for my nails, the vitamin E for the scars, the hats for my head and the Tylenol for everything else. And I have your Word to bring peace to my mind and heart and your promise that you will never leave me. I am surrounded by good books, pillows, and great friends and family so I guess I am ready. Please go with me and sustain me today. Help me to continue to find the joy in this cancer journey and to laugh and help others to laugh. I think of and love the verse that says a joyful heart is good medicine. Help me be good medicine for those around me, but when the times come to cry and be quiet, enable me to embrace those moments and be still.
Thank you for all the friends that have been here helping, providing meals and gas cards, sending notes, texting to keep me laughing, and just being here for us. We are truly blessed. Protect the hearts of my children from worry and doubt and replace those with strength and confidence. I pray that they would look at me and not see weak and suffering but strong and fighting. I also pray this would give them compassion for others around them to see the needs and act.
It is a beautiful and glorious day. I will rejoice and be glad in it.