Waiting, Waiting, Waiting..... NOT!

Biopsy )  Check!
Surgery)  Check! Check! 

Well, I got that step out of the way.  The surgery itself went well.  It even provided me with yet another opportunity to be a "dork".  Sorry, but stickers are big fun, even for big kids.  Now, don't be like that.  You know it made you chuckle.  

The surgeon did the lumpectomy and reconstruction and that area has been minimally bothersome.  It's those darn teleporters however, that continue to be the problem.  He took the Sentinel Node and biopsied it during surgery to see if it was compromised with cancer.  If it is, they follow the culprit to the end of the line and where ever that is, they cut a wide berth beyond to ensure clean passage ahead.  For me, there were two nodes junked up.  They do another test and then give you those results 2 or more days later.  So here I am, Monday, waiting for those results except I am not.  I find for the first time in a very long time, I am not afraid.  I have been surprised at how I have responded.  In the past, I think I would  have panicked and gotten very anxious.  Sleeping would have been a luxury my wandering mind would not have allowed, my future would have been written in morbid writing and I would have allowed a foothold to all kinds of destructive thoughts. 



I am not there today.  I am not afraid.  I feel tired yes, sore, for sure, tingling from unexpected nerve involvement, what is this about? But afraid, no.  I am still resting in the peace that God has this.  When the phone call comes, I will proceed down whatever path is most appropriate knowing I won't go it alone.  Don't misunderstand.  I will go fighting!!! and who knows, there may be more stickers involved, but I won't get backed down that road with fear and anxiety. I will fight for my mind and to keep it steadfast. I will go forward with chin up, gloves on, and pillow at the ready.  I will fight cancer and I will win.