This is Me!

This is Me! The good, the bad, and the bald. You get it all! But I have hair now. This spring I'll be rockin the pixie.

Friday, November 8, 2013

I've Officially Lost My Marbles

 
5, 4, 3, 2.....
 
In the past 7 weeks I've logged a minimum of 1,750 miles back and forth just for treatment and Dr appts, burning up roughly 85 gallons of gas.  I have gone through 5 different hydrating lotions, two hydro cortisone creams, a bottle of sun screen, a bottle of Tylenol and a bottle of wine.   I have left the poor sisters unsupported for weeks because the bras hurt with the burns. And then I marveled at the unexpected healing while still being treated.  My hair has grown an inch while my faith has increased by a mile.  Today is day 35 and the last marble goes.  I'm tempted to keep it as a stone of remembrance for this leg of the race.  While I shared with you the struggles I deal with at night when I'm alone, the laughter I shared during the days was where I found my strength and encouragement.

Through this uncomfortable phase of treatment I have felt one thing confirmed in me for sure.  We read in the scriptures of the saints saying "Here am I.  Send me".  They are ready to be used.  And I like to think I prayed that through.. in the past.  Africa? Yes. I would go.  Mexico, yes. Send me. Thailand?  I will certainly pray about it.  But the cancer center????  Hmmm, no, not so much.  I don't think I ever raised my hand to volunteer to be sent there and yet that is precisely where I find myself. And much to my surprise, even though it has meant walking through the fire to gain that experience, I have found so much joy in encouraging others who are unfortunately following behind me in a cancer walk of their own. If I can help them smile, I will.  If there's a question I can answer, I'm happy to help.  And if someone just needs to have their fears about this nasty thing called cancer validated and be listened to, I am able to do this.  

Part of my next phase will include me volunteering at the cancer center.  There was a time not too long ago when I was afraid of this place and the people in it.  I would turn my head and eyes away as I drove by, as if I would some how catch it just by acknowledging it.  Now, I feel comfortable at the center. There is no more fear associated with the people who enter those doors, as I am one of them.  I have a sense of belonging and I desire to help others walk this path.  I plan to be back weekly sitting with others as they endure their nasty beginning infusions and hopefully making some people smile.  It seems to be one of the things I am good at.

In terms of treatment I have Herceptin infusions every three weeks until sometime next June, and then surgeries and pills will follow.  And in case anyone was wondering because several have asked and I have never posted it, I had stage 3a breast cancer.  They never told me at the beginning and so I never asked, at least not until after I had my last Taxol treatment.  I didn't want a number associated with my process. 

Thank you all for your continued prayer and support.  I know it has been a long road and so many of you have been such a faithful part of this journey.  I am truly grateful.

5 comments:

  1. You are such an inspiration Tami, God Bless you. Sharon Johns

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  2. We are so grateful for you and your faith, Tami! We love you and celebrate with you today! Your hair looks so cute!!! Love you...from afar...but a whole bunch.

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  3. Thank you for sharing. I can't begin to imagine the journey you have been on & continue to travel. Your sister-in-law who I know from my MOPS table shared your link, & you know my husband as the guy in the hazmat/radiation suit. Prayers to you as you continue your journey. Sarah

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  4. Wow! Sarah, thank you for telling me that. Thank you for your prayers too. Your husband is a great guy. It was nice having such caring and gentle people for such an "exposed" procedure. I mostly just tried to pretend I wasn't "exposed". I am sure they have to do the same thing. Did you see the picture with him and the others?

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  5. "Here am I. Send me" - what a fantastic spirit and attitude you have. I love your wanting to help others and make them "smile" - You are one beautiful woman and mom - I thank the Lord for your faith and trust in Him - you are special Tami and I love you. Char

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